


The Host with the Most

by Dabberdees



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Chameleon Arch (Doctor Who), Gen, Maybe it was someone she knew anyway, RIP Gallifrey (Again), Rassilon (Doctor Who) is a Dick, The Doctor gains a friend or does she?, Time War (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26111374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabberdees/pseuds/Dabberdees
Summary: The Doctor snaps out from her stupor and stands to her full height. "What's your name?""Which one?""The one you'd preferred to be called.""The Host," He answers. "You can call me the Host."
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	The Host with the Most

"Thanks for this by the way, guys," Graham calls out to Yaz and the Doctor. "I kinda just shoved my stuff in the attic when I moved in and then left it there to gather dust and all, 'bout time I got it all sorted out."

"And now he thinks it's a great time to do that when I have stuff I wanted to do," Ryan grumbles as he places down a box in the living room. "And he's managed to get you two to help out along with me."

Graham follows after him and adds the last box to the collection. He looks at all of them. "We're not doing anything though, and I thought that-" He rubs at the back of his neck, clearly worried he's asked too much now. "-You three don't have to help I 'spose, 'cos I can do it myself, but it would be great if you-"

"Cool 'cos I have this video I want to edit-" Yaz shoots Ryan a dirty look. "-later."

"Graham, it's fine, Ryan is just moaning and mad because he can't play Call of Duty or edit his weird vlogs," Yaz reassures. "Together we'll sort everything out, and we'll get it done fast."

"See, son, they don't mind, and anyway-" Graham gestures to the boxes, face relieved that Yaz is okay with helping. "It's really only this lot."

The Doctor's eyebrow quirks upwards. "Four boxes?" She's puzzled. "Donna had more suitcases than this when she moved into the TARDIS."

"Who's Donna?" Yaz questions with curiosity. The Doctor's face shifts, twisting slightly, eyes darting away. "You don't have to say if you don't want to, Doctor."

"No, it's not that; it's-" The Doctor shuffles on her feet. "-complicated, very complicated."

Graham sensing the shift in tone, briefly locks his eyes with Ryan. "How 'bout Ryan goes and gets us all teas-"

"Why do I have to do it?"

"Because they are our guests," Graham gestures towards Yaz and the Doctor, secretly glad that the topic has changed now. "And I need to supervise what is rubbish, what isn't, and a bunch of other stuff 'cos if I don't then who knows what the Doc will do."

"Fine," Ryan rolls his eyes. "But no one is getting anything special," He calls out over his shoulder as he leaves the room. "Just milk, that's it-"

"Can I have-" Ryan's head pokes back into the room, and he narrows his eyes at the Doctor. "-sugar, please, Ryan, I can't drink it without sugar."

Ryan stays staring at her for a moment before grinning. "Fine, you can have sugar, how much?"

"Ten."

"Sure!"

"Ryan!" Graham shouts, eyes wide. He shakes his head when he hears snickering coming from the kitchen. "If I have to peel you from the ceiling, Doc, then I'm blaming _Ryan_." He shouts his grandson's name for emphasis.

The Doctor truly looks perplexed by that statement. She glances to Yaz who simply waves it off with a smile.

"Now," Graham claps his hands together, drawing the attention back to himself. "Pick any box that you want; it's just filled with stuff I collected over the years."

Yaz nods and selects the box nearest the dining room table. "You know, Graham, you did lead us to believe that it would be a lot."

Graham focuses on the Yaz and furrows his brows. "When did I do that?"

"When you said you wanted to sort out all of the boxes that you had when you moved in."

"And I do," Graham points to them again. "And as I said, this is it."

"Seriously, though?" Yaz asks, puzzled. "There doesn't seem like there's much of anything here."

Graham looks baffled for a moment before shrugging. "I moved around a lot, kept everything organised-" He settles himself down in front of a box and begins digging through it. "-this has, uh-" He reaches in and pulls out a CD. "-hey, it's my ABBA one."

"You listen to ABBA?" Yaz probes with a smirk. "I thought you liked Elvis."

"I do, but ABBA is good," Graham shows her the CD. "It's the best of ABBA, but I quite like Dancing Queen the most-"

Ryan's sudden snort of laughter draws all of their attention. "What?" He says as he carefully brings in four teas on a tray, his brow knitted in concentration. "Graham and Dancing Queen, hardly go hand in hand, do they?"

"I met ABBA once," The Doctor chimes in from her place on the floor. Graham blinks, surprised that she moved so quietly and under their noses. "I could take you three to see them if you want."

"Oh, that would be cool," Graham says enthusiastically. "I never managed to see them live."

"Really?" Yaz looks shocked by that. "How come?"

"Dunno," Graham frowns. "Moved around a lot, stuff is kinda blurry, I just never got a chance to."

"It's the old age-" Ryan teases as he gestures to his head. "-brains not what it used to be."

"It is not the old age!" Graham counters as he points at his grandson. "I just never settled anywhere until I hit Sheffield and then I met Grace and kinda just shoved my stuff into the Attic, now it's time to deal with that."

The Doctor decides their next trip. "Right, we will go and see ABBA, and maybe I can get my guitar back from Lasse-"

"Who?"

"Lasse Wellander?" The Doctor tries again before scrunching her face up. "He was the main guitarist for ABBA, although not a part of the band himself, he played the tours with-"

"Whoa," Ryan's shocked voice drowns the Doctor out. "Now this is fancy, gramps," He stares down at a silver item in his hand that he picked from Yaz's box. "Kinda looks like the writing on your TARDIS, Doctor, not the exact same, but very close."

The Doctor leans forward to get a peek at the object. "Show me."

"Oh, right," Ryan holds the silver object out for them all to see. "It's like a pocket watch, but if you look it's got circles on it like the TARDIS has, see-" He points at them. "Weird."

Yaz takes the watch next and rotates it in her hands. The three humans miss the look on the Doctor's face; eyes widened, mouth opening and closing repeatedly, hands bunching up her coat as she stares at the silver object. "Where did you get this from, Graham?" Yaz questions and Graham holds his hand out to her, taking the watch to get a better look. He reaches into his pocket with his free hand and pulls out his glasses. "It looks old," She mentions. "Quite old and dusty."

Graham places his glasses on and narrows his eyes at the watch. "I think it is old, feels warm though."

"It felt cold to me," Ryan says, puzzled.

"Maybe it's just heated up from you two getting your fingerprints all over it," Graham teases, but his brows furrow at the writing. All he can get from it is that it's important now that it's been found again.

"You think it's like that Only Fools and Horses thing?" Ryan questions and Yaz turns to him with a confused look. "Oh, come on, Yaz, you know the thing where that guy finds the watch, and they get the money?" Yaz shakes her head. "Now you're making me feel old-"

"You are the one who watched Only Fools and Horses, Ryan."

"Hey!" Ryan scowls. "I didn't watch it; my nan had it on as background noise, I just remembered it and it there was this watch thing that sold for millions, oh, maybe we could sell it and get millions."

Yaz laughs and starts to turn back to Graham, only to stop and catch the expression on the Doctor's face. "Doctor?" The Doctor snaps her head to Yaz. "You all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" The Doctor answers all too quickly. "I'm fine."

"Well, you look like you've seen a ghost for one thing."

Graham, meanwhile, hasn't removed his eyes from the silver pocket watch. "I think this was my dads, stern bloke-" He looks up from the watch. "-I'd show a picture of him but I don't have anything other than this watch, but it might be mine, I dunno-"

"Is it yours or not?" The Doctor demands abruptly.

Graham looks taken aback by the sudden direct question. "I dunno, Doc, my dad got rid of everything when my mum died," He frowns. "I don't really remember what they looked like now; maybe it is the old age like Ryan said," He gets up and settles the watch on the mantlepiece, left thumb brushing against it carefully. "Also, don't let that distract you from what you're doing here," He pulls his vison from the watch. "We still got work to do."

"Worth a shot," Ryan smirks before turning and picking a box at random.

They work in relative silence after that, silence that is only broken up by Ryan frowning into his empty box. "That went quicker than expected," He glances to the pile of items. "CDs, some DVDs on quiz shows, rubbish, used crosswords books," He faces Graham once more. "You sure that was it?"

"Yeah," Graham nods. "Positive, the rest of the stuff up there belongs to Grace."

"You only had CDs and stuff," Yaz points out. "You don't have anything from your childhood, like, at all?"

"Nah," Graham shakes his head. "Like I said, my dad got rid of it all."

"Why would your dad do that?" Yaz asks, defensive almost on Graham's behalf. "Didn't he think that you would've liked to keep it?"

"It's not a big deal, cockle," Graham blinks at her. "My mum died, and then he got rid of the stuff, like pictures and things, I don't have any of it-"

"No one does that, though, Graham," Yaz states with conviction. "My Nani kept Prem's watch for all those years, it's all sentimental to some degree, and I quite frankly don't get why your dad would do that if I'm honest, not without asking you first."

"And I 'spose my nan kept my stuff and my dads, 'cos I saw it in the attic," Ryan tacks on. "Pictures I drew when I was five."

"Yeah," Yaz nods. "And I bet the Doctor has-" She looks to where the Doctor was sat and stares in confusion. "-wait, where did the Doctor go?"

"Did anyone see her move?" Graham voices, eager to turn the conversation away from his childhood. It's something he'd rather forget, and thankfully, he sorta has considering most of it is a blur. "She moves like a damn cat somedays."

"Dunno, saw her get up and mess around by the mantelpiece for a bit, but then I went back to sorting out that box," Ryan answers Graham's question. "Thought she was getting a look at the watch-"

Graham looks towards the mantelpiece and frowns at it. "Hold on; she took the watch you found, son," He gestures to where he placed. "Why would she take it? It was mine."

"I'm sure she'll bring it back-"

"No," Graham shakes his head. "She shouldn't have took it without asking; it's mine."

"Hey," Ryan's brows furrow at his grandad. "You kept it in a box and didn't even remember the fact that you had it, so why are you getting pissy about it now?"

Graham turns to Ryan and stares at him for a moment before standing quickly and heading towards his front door. "I want it back."

"Hey," Yaz stands as well. "She won't damage it."

"It's mine, though, and-" Graham's brows crease together. "-I need it, I don't know why, but I need it back."

Ryan shares a look with Yaz. "Look, we can go and get it back if you want as long as you don't go in there guns blazing 'cos she took it without asking."

"Yeah, Graham," Yaz nods. "The TARDIS landed in Park Hill again."

Graham still looks annoyed. "I just wish she would've asked before taking the damn thing," He states as he begins making his way back to the front door again. "It's the only thing I really have of my dads, I think."

"You keep saying you think," Ryan points out. "Is it his or not?"

"Maybe?" Graham replies. "I just know it's important to me."

"TARDIS," Yaz diverts the subject. "We'll get it back and then you can ask why she took it, all right, Graham?"

Graham nods, and they begin the short walk to the TARDIS in uncomfortable silence. Graham is staring ahead while marching towards the TARDIS, Ryan and Yaz edge behind, each one sharing concerned looks with one another. Whatever is going on is out of character for Graham.

Graham doesn't waste time in knocking, he pushes the door open and stalks in with a deep frown on his face. "You had no right in taking my watch, Doc," The Doctor's head snaps up, and she locks eyes with Graham's angry, and that's rare for the man, blue eyes. "Give it back."

"What he means is you should've asked before taking the watch, Doctor," Yaz tries to diplomat the situation before it dissolves into a fight. "So, why don't you just give it back now."

The Doctor looks between all three of them. "I need to finish the test on it."

"What?" Ryan steps forward this time. "It's just a watch that might've belonged to Graham's dad-"

"No."

"What do you mean by 'no', Doctor?" Yaz asks. "Graham said-"

"It didn't belong to his dad," The Doctor gestures at Graham. "It can't have belonged to his dad."

"Who says it can't?" Graham demands this time. "I remember-"

"What do you remember, Graham?" The Doctor retorts. There's an edge to her voice. "Where did you get the watch from?"

Graham stares at her, hands balled into fists. "I got it from my dad."

"No, you didn't," The Doctor snaps back at him. "Watches like this don't just appear as family heirlooms, so where did you get it from?"

Yaz intercepts before Graham can. "What is going on here?" She stares at the Doctor. "What is so important about Graham's watch that would make you speak to him like that, Doctor?"

The Doctor looks at Yaz. "That's not writing like the writing on this TARDIS," She begins. "It is _writing_ on this TARDIS; it's Gallifreyan, and Graham shouldn't have something like that at all, not unless-" Her eyes become unfocused for a brief moment. "-I need to test it."

"What?" Ryan splutters in surprise. "Are you saying that my grandad had a watch that belongs to your species?"

The Doctor stares at Graham once again, eyes narrowed and looking at him in a different light now. "Not exactly."

"I'm confused," Ryan admits. "Proper confused now."

"Graham," The Doctor says his name again. Kinder and gentler this time around. "What was your dad's name?"

"Richard," Graham answers stiffly. "And before you ask my mum was called Miriam, we lived in Essex, and I went to a school in Chingford, and that watch is mine."

"Richard and Miriam O'Brien," The Doctor repeats. "I could search-"

"Why do you even need to search for them?!" Graham demands. "Just give me my watch back-"

"Hey," Ryan faces Graham. "You need to calm down, gramps, seriously, the Doctor hasn't even broken it, and you're acting as if she has."

Graham pushes past Ryan and approaches the console with striding steps. "Where is it?"

The Doctor matches the looked aimed at her. "Time Lords, Graham," She says. "What do you know of them?"

Graham stares at her. "A bunch of stuck up assholes, that's what they are, and that's why I-"

"Whoa-" Yaz jogs up and places a hand on Graham's shoulder. "Step outside, Graham-"

"Give me back my watch," Graham says in a dangerous tone. "I want it back now."

"Do you know what a chameleon arch is, Graham?"

Graham's face shifts, feet shuffling on the floor. "Every TARDIS has one; it's for Time Lord's when they need to lay low."

"And how do you know that?"

"I-" Graham shakes his head. "Where is my watch?"

"Doctor?" Yaz says with a glance towards her. "Has something happened to Graham?"

"No, but-" The Doctor moves away and opens a compartment on the console. She pulls out Graham's watch and stares at it. "I took it so I could scan it."

Graham's eyes lock onto the silver pocket watch.

"Why'd you scan it for?" Ryan worries. "Everything was fine until I found that, hell Graham was acting normal, or whatever counts for normal for him," He teases, expected Graham to refute that and looking on in worry when the older man doesn't.

"I needed to know if it contained something," The Doctor gives a half answer. "And it does."

"Is that why Graham is acting-" Ryan looks at Graham and notices where he's looking. "Is he okay?"

The Doctor removes her eyes from the watch and fixates them onto Graham. She hands the watch over which he eagerly takes from her, hands now holding it close to his chest. "Do you know what it is now, Graham?"

"It's mine," Graham murmurs in recognition. "I remember it now, it was never my dad's, he had-" He looks up, puzzled. "-I don't remember what he had or what he looked like."

"Because they never existed, Graham," The Doctor states. "You made them up."

Graham stares back down at the watch, eyes closing when images flash through his mind. 

Fire. War. Fear. Weariness.

"You made everything up," The Doctor continues. "Ryan, Yaz," She looks at them. "I need to speak to Graham alone."

"We're not going-"

"You don't have a choice."

"No, I'm not-"

"Ryan," Graham says in such a low voice. "Please do as the Doctor says."

"But-"

"Please," Graham finally looks up, eyes older all of a sudden. "Just do as she says."

Ryan stares back at Graham before turning and stalking from the TARDIS. Yaz looks at both Graham and the Doctor before turning as well and exiting the TARDIS. The Doctor waits for the doors to close before she moves around the console, hitting levers and switches and sending the TARDIS into flight.

"Doctor?"

"We're just heading home, Graham," The Doctor reveals. "I didn't mean to upset you by taking it from you, but I needed to know for certain what I was dealing with."

"I don't understand, Doc," Graham stares at her like a wounded dog. "Why do I-"

"See things when you hold it?" The Doctor supplies willingly. "Because it's you."

"I see war, I feel fear," Graham rambles. "There's fire, burning in rage, and weariness."

The Doctor stares into the console. "Ruth was like you, Graham, you never met her like Ryan and Yaz did, but she was exactly like you," She explains with ease because she's not talking to Graham, the human man from Essex, her friend, no, she's talking to someone else, someone she might not even know. "You both used the arch to hide."

"Why would I do that?" Graham mumbles, confused and baffled. "I'm-" His brows knit together. "-Doctor?" He holds the watch out to her, hand trembling with it. "Take it back; I don't want it."

"I can't, Graham," The Doctor admits with sadness. "I don't think you were meant to find it again and if you did, if I weren't around, then I'd think you would've just discarded it again, but my presence woke it up, made you want it back, dragged you to the TARDIS and to me."

"I don't-" Graham begins, trailing off when he feels the watch grow warmer in his hands. His eyes close, and he hears a voice, distant, pleading and begging with him. "-please take it back."

The Doctor finally looks back at Graham. "I'm sorry."

Graham's eyes open again, and he moves his hands over the silver object. He holds it in his left hand; thumb held against the lever to open.

He takes in a deep breath and presses down.

The Doctor can only stumble back from the golden light engulfing her friend. Her hearts hammer in her chest, eyes widened in both horror and want. She's not alone, not anymore. Is he a good one? She hopes he is while she waits for the golden light to subside.

And then there's that other part, sudden worry about whether he's her from her past or something like Ruth was. She can't meet someone like that again, not so soon after when she still isn't sure what life she's supposedly lead as Ruth.

The glow fades and dies down, releasing the man formerly known as Graham to slump forward, his left hand still clutching the watch reaches out and slams against the console for support. He breathes in, tasting the air. Ears listening to the TARDIS he's in that is now probing at his reborn fledgeling mind.

He stands up and stares at his hands, noticing the lines on them with a frown. "He didn't open the watch for years then," He murmurs under his breath before looking up and staring at the Doctor. "I know you from the academy, and I know you from Graham."

The Doctor snaps out from her stupor and stands to her full height. "What's your name?"

"Which one?"

"The one you'd preferred to be called."

"The Host," He answers. "You can call me the Host, that's what they all called me back home," The Doctor frowns partially. "We've never met, but I saw you on the battlefield at Skull Moon, I was there, it was a bloodbath."

"You fought in the Time War."

"Yes, and no," The Host shakes his head. Shame flashes across his face in such a human way that it hurts the Doctor to see. "I ran from it, I deserted and hid, I'm not a war hero like you are, Doctor."

"I'm not a hero, Host."

"At least you're not a coward," The Host states. "I ran from the war because I was scared; I thought hiding as a human would be better because I didn't have to think about what I did during it."

The Doctor looks away, eyes unable to meet his face, not when he looks so much like the man she knew. "Is there anything left of the man I knew?"

The Host pauses, thumb running in circles over the now cold metal. "There is."

"But you're not him."

"That's where you're wrong, Doc," The Doctor snaps her head to him at the use of her nickname coming from his lips. "I'm good at making up lives, Doctor, played enough, took enough-"

"What?"

"Oh, don't act surprised, Doctor," The Host considers her for a moment. "We were all part of the Celestial Intervention Agency at some point even if we don't remember it."

The Doctor's face changes in an instant. "What do you know of me?"

"Nothing, surprisingly," The Host answers truthfully. "I just know we've all done work for them," He laughs a mirthless laugh. "Rassilon really was a grade a donkey, wasn't he?"

For a second, a brief moment, the Doctor hears Graham in his voice, and her hearts break. "Ryan-" She whispers, remembering the lad for the first time in minutes. "-oh, Ryan."

The Host looks over to the Doctor. "Me and Graham, we're connected, it's complicated."

"Try me," The Doctor says. "I'm good at complicated."

"I know you are," The Host smirks slightly. "Every one of our trips was needlessly complicated."

"You mean Graham."

"Yeah, but-" The Host shrugs. "-complicated," He sighs and settles himself against the console, arms now folded over his chest. "I took everything that made me a Time Lord away, memories of Gallifrey, the academy, the war-" His eyes glaze over, and he pauses. "But I left in this regeneration personality because I quite like it if I'm honest, he's easy-going and easy on the eyes-"

"Did you just flirt with yourself?"

"No," The Host smiles. "But I appreciate a good face and this one-" He gestures at his face. "-picked it from this television show I watched when I was on Earth during a mission, quiet entertaining, better than the version I watched on Satellite Five, less killing this time around."

"What regeneration are you on?"

"Fourth," The Host answers without hesitation. "My last one was taller and the one before her," He snorts. "She was fierce, loved being her, strangely she was taller as well."

"You were a woman, twice?"

The Host raises an eyebrow at that. "You spend too much time around humans, Doctor, if you're focusing on that," He taunts. "But I suppose you can say I was, two out of four times, you never know, I might pick another presenter from Earth to have as my next face, there is this woman, blonde hair, seems nice."

There is a pause in the conversation before the Host sighs and looks back towards the Doctor again. "I still care for Ryan by the way; he's my grandson."

"He was Graham's grandson," The Doctor corrects. "Graham who married Grace-"

"And I loved Grace O'Brien, but-" The Host stares ahead. "I don't get it, why didn't Graham open the watch when he got sick? I put that failsafe into the arch; he was meant to open it if he got hurt or sick and he didn't."

The Doctor settles herself next to the Time Lord with the face of her friend. "Graham was a stubborn man, Host; he fought through it and won, maybe he knew he didn't need to go looking for the watch?"

"Maybe, he did survive the illness, after all, I admire that quality of mine, obstinacy," The Host agrees. "But also, it's not just Ryan I care about, Doc, it's Yaz as well, and-" He glances back to the Doctor. "-you, I 'spose, you're all right."

"Graham said that."

"And I've already said that I am Graham, Doc, as much as I am the Host."

"But everything that you made up about Graham should've left you," The Doctor blinks at the Host. "You can't be Graham O'Brien and the Host at the same time."

"I'm not them at the same time, Doc," The Host points out. "But Graham is me, and I am Graham, we're the same, I'm just-" He waves a hand through the air. "-different, but only because I remember home, and I don't mean Earth because Earth was never my home, well, not until he married Grace and settled down."

"But Ruth lost who she was, and when I used it, I lost John Smith," The Doctor points out carefully. She won't tell the truth about Ruth just yet. "How did you manage to keep yourself within Graham to the extent that he's with you now?"

"I'm good with people, Doctor," The Host shrugs. "And I'm good with building people from nothing, why would I leave my human self to chance when I could, in a way, live a full life as a human with as much of this personality as I could?"

"But you said earlier that you took lives, that you took enough of them."

"In wars, Doc," The Host sighs. "The Time War made us all monsters in ways, and that's why I ran, I had to run before I lost who I was."

"I understand," The Doctor exhales. "More than you know."

The Host looks down. "Did we win?" He stares at his feet. "The war, I mean, obviously not if we fought that Dalek on New Years, why didn't he open the damn watch?" He drags his eyes back to the Doctor. "Just tell me."

The Doctor shakes her head and gestures towards the door, unwilling to tell him the truth.

That they saved their home.

And that the Master destroyed it after they saved it.

The Host pushes himself from the console and numbly walks over to the TARDIS doors. He rests his hands against them before pulling inward and stepping out into fire and brimstone.

His eyes lock against the Citadel, hearts shattering to pieces at the hollow, smoking outline in the distance. He hears footsteps behind. "Is it just us, then?"

"And the Master."

"Wherever he is," The Host says. "I understand why you were looking for him now, even if he is who he is."

"You know the Master?"

"I've met him," The Host glances back at the Doctor. "Us renegades are bound to bump into one another eventually, and I met him aeons ago now," He looks forward again. "Never tried to kill me, he had the rubbish salt and pepper beard back then, black clothes."

"Yeah, that was him, short, always one for the dramatic."

"What about the Corsair?" The Host asks, hopefully. "I met them a few times as well, last time she was this firecracker, my old self, the one before me now, and her got along like a house on fire, one too many ginger snaps and beers if you get my meaning, we stole some things together."

"I'm not sure I do."

"We had a wild few months; I had short black hair, glasses that I didn't need, got the face from this show about baking, it was her or Mel, chose her," The Host remembers. "I think she left me in a cell, stole my damn TARDIS while she was at it, had to use a space hopper to get back home, cheap and nasty time travel," He still looks hopeful. "Doctor?"

The Doctor shakes her head. "You remember meeting her as Graham?"

"I do, yeah, she had the same face, and Graham didn't even recognise it," He nods. "She left me in a cell again only with Ryan and Yaz this time, and it was suspended over a drop," He'll grieve for his friend another time, though, when he's alone. "What happened to her?"

"She regenerated and whoever she changed into followed a distress signal that led him to his death," The Doctor answers with regret. "I'm sorry."

"So it really is just the Master and us then?"

"As far as I know," The Doctor reluctantly answers. "What will you do now?"

"How'd you mean?"

"You're not-"

"If you say I'm not Graham again I will hit you with my shoe," The Host turns back to her, smoke and ash tickle his nose uncomfortably. "And I mean it."

"Do you still want to be named Graham?"

"Hmm?"

"Graham," The Doctor says again. "If you're so sure you're still him, or at least a part of him-"

"I dunno," The Host admits with honesty. "I picked the name, Graham, but I didn't put thought into it that much," His eyes lower once more. "I never picked the Host."

"Why not?"

"Rassilon wanted someone who was good at telepathy," The Host begins to explain. "And I am, not that you knew mind, but it bled through to Graham himself, he was always good at reading and understanding people."

"Why did he want someone like you?"

"I communed with something not of this reality, Doc, after I looked into the Untempered Schism," He looks back up at the Doctor. "I ran after I heard it, too scared to stay."

"And Rassilon found this out?"

The Host snorts. "Rassilon finds everything out, and you missed a lot by stealing a TARDIS and running away," He says stiffly. "Not that I blame you because I would've done the same if I could, but I-" He shrugs. "-I don't know, Doc, I really don't."

The Doctor doesn't touch, not in this body anyway, but she might. "Can I see?"

The Host stares back at her. "Why?" He probes. "Is it because I have the face of Graham, the human, or is it because you genuinely want to find out, Doc?"

"You're my friend."

"Am I?" The Host asks, surprised, truly and honestly surprised by that.

"You said you were Graham," The Doctor reminds. "And I trust Graham, so I trust you."

The Host nods after a moment and raises his left hand to the Doctor's temple. He lightly presses his index and middle finger against it and begins. 

"Contact."

"Contact."

They say at the same time, and the Doctor finds herself drawn into pain and fear, shadows coil around her, voices scream and cry, and she withdraws just as fast, one hand pressed against her forehead. "What was that?"

"Whatever I saw through the Untempered Schism, Doc," The Host reveals. "I never knew what they wanted, Rassilon just used me as a Host for it, hence the name."

"I'd kick him off the planet if I could again," The Doctor states. "I really would."

"Wait," The Host stares at her with wide eyes. "You kicked Rassilon off Gallifrey?" He blinks. "How? Last I saw he was in the middle of the war, why would he-"

The Doctor realises she said too much and the Host notices the shift on her face. How her arms cling to herself.

"Doctor?" The Host tries. "What happened?"

The Doctor kicks at the floor, unwilling to say, but she's not telling Graham now, she's telling a Time Lord, someone like her, and they deserve to know.

"The Master happened, Host," The Doctor spits out. "I saved Gallifrey with my past selves, every one of them, Gallifrey falls no more, it wasn't meant to fall again," She stares out upon the burning wreckage. "But it did, and it fell by his hands, and I want to know why he did it, why he destroyed everything that I fought to save again, why he would carry the guilt of that on his shoulders."

The Host looks out over the devastated landscape with heavy hearts. "I had friends and family-"

"You still do."

"But-" The Host steps away from the TARDIS. The twin suns beat down upon him in unrelenting heat. "-I never said bye to them when I left."

"How did you leave?"

"Took a leaf out of your book, Doc, stole a TARDIS, prepped everything I needed and stepped into the chameleon arch," He kneels down and runs his hand through the dirt on the ground. It's ashy and orange. He rubs it on his jeans. "The TARDIS left when I was human, leaving me and the wallet I had on the pavement next to me, I remember that, woke up in a hospital in Essex with police asking whether I knew the mugger's face, course I didn't 'cos I made it up, but back then I didn't know." He frowns for a moment. "You know, Doc."

"What?"

"I chose this face without really putting the thought into," The Host explains. "My body before it was hurt, badly so and it was only a matter of time before she wore a bit to thin, it was just enough to steal a TARDIS before I regenerated," He shrugs. "Guess 'cos I was thinking 'bout Earth this is why I picked this face; Graham didn't half get a few looks and the odd person asking for an autograph, he was always so confused 'bout it."

"I chalked it up to the universe with you having the same face as that presenter," The Doctor admits. "Nardole used to watch the quiz show all the time; he hated when I shouted the answers before the Host- Oh!" She points at the Host. "I see the connection now."

The Host smirks back and winks. "I don't know what you mean."

"Your face," She points at her own face. "My last self chose the eyebrows to reminds himself of who he was; you chose your face because-" 

"Because it was amusing to pick faces of people who hosted shows I watched on Earth when I was fixing mistakes there, among other things," He shrugs. "Earth wasn't the only planet I went to, but it was among the favourites."

"Earth is, she has a way of doing that to you," The Doctor settles herself next to the Host. "It's why I like it, warts and all."

"Ryan and Yaz are good people, humans genuinely are," The Host nods. "So was Grace, beautiful and caring, even the friend's Graham made are great," He sits on the floor and crosses his legs. "Is this why-" He gestures across the scene. "-you've been the way you have been lately?" The Doctor draws her legs to her chest, and she nods. "We would've understood if you just told us, Doctor."

"How could I tell you three?" The Doctor questions. "You all thought of me in a way I rarely had people think about me," She stares out. "The reason I showed you, told you now, is because you're different-"

"I'm not-"

"You are, Graham," The Doctor snaps her head back at him, the use of the human name falling from her lips unknowingly. "You've changed; you're not human anymore, you might be a blend of what Graham was, but you're not that human man anymore."

The Host looks taken aback by the outburst. "I'm still me."

"I know you are," The Doctor exhales. "You have to tell Ryan."

"Like you told us what was wrong when you were snapping at the innocent comments we made?"

The Doctor turns her head away.

"I'm sorry," The Host sighs. "That was uncalled for."

"No, it was, Host," The Doctor hugs her legs. "It's the truth; I should've trusted the three of you with this."

"Ryan doesn't have to know everything, Doctor," The Host explains. "I'll tell him about the watch, explain in brief what it did, but I'm not telling him about the fact that it usually removes who you are because he won't think of me as the same then."

"Would you still travel with me?"

The Host pulls himself to his feet, secretly relieved that the aches in Graham's legs have stopped now. He extends a hand to the Doctor. "What? Don't want another Time Lord stealing your spotlight?"

"No," The Doctor takes his him and allows him to pull her up to her feet. "I just haven't travelled with another Time Lord in a long time."

"You had-" The Host's eyes widen. "Your mate," He laughs, genuinely. "Oh, he was close, he just got the wrong Time Lord at the time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Captain Jack Harkness," The Host tells. "Graham never told you because he didn't know how to tell you, and he was still slightly flushed about it."

The Doctor's pinches the bridge of her nose. "What did Jack do?"

"He snogged Graham thinking he was you," The Host reveals with a smirk. "Caught him off guard completely, well, until Jack revealed he thought he was the Doctor."

"You still refer to Graham as he," The Doctor says worriedly.

"Me, then," The Host corrects himself. "Human me, late fifties, put on the spot because a handsome man kissed me. I wasn't gonna tell Yaz, I definitely wasn't gonna tell Ryan 'cos he'd only take the mick, and telling you, well, I thought at the time that you had enough on your plate, and the kiss was between me and him and none of you."

"Jack does that," The Doctor grimaces. "Should've expected that he would've tried it on with you lot."

The Host shrugs. "Not that bothered, Doc, and neither was Graham at the time, as I have said, we are the same and gender-" He waves a hand through the air. "-Time Lord, you know how it is."

"Still use Time Lord and Time Lady, though, don't we?"

"Nothing's perfect," The Host snorts. He looks out over Gallifrey once more. "Shall we head home?"

"Home?"

"Sheffield," The Host clarifies. "And if you want yeah, you can call me Graham, it'll be easier for Ryan and Yaz if I use that name."

"Okay," The Doctor nods. "Graham," The Host looks at her with a small smile. "Let's head home, to Earth."

"To Earth."

\----

"I'm telling you, Yaz," Ryan frets. "None of that was normal."

"I know, Ryan," Yaz says once again. "But they will be back."

"Will they?" Ryan snaps, hands balled into fists. He turns and kicks at a box. "We should've never looked through those boxes, why he wanted to do it I don't know, but we shouldn't have."

Yaz runs her hands down her face. She called off work today, fobbed off her family so Ryan wouldn't be alone to panic.

But he is panicking.

And she can't-

She-

Yaz's head shoots to where Graham's back garden is when her ears pick up the wheezing of space and time. "Ryan-"

"I hear it," Ryan nods. "Back garden."

They approach the window, both moving the curtains aside to peek outside.

And both exhaling with relief when the solid blue lands with a thud. Ryan pushes past Yaz and strides from the house with a purpose. Yaz follows after him, making sure to shut the backdoor before following Ryan into the TARDIS.

"Ryan, Yaz," The Doctor speaks from her position near the console.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Ryan demands. "It's been hours and-" He looks around the console room. "-where is Graham?"

"Here,"

Ryan spins and faces Graham, who is sat on the steps. "What happened?"

Graham looks at the Doctor, eyes connecting together like they're conversing. He sighs and stands, attention now brought back to Ryan and Yaz. "A lot happened, son."

"You went mental about your watch," Ryan points out. "What was that about?"

Graham pulls the cold, dead watch from his pocket and stares at it. "It was me."

"What?"

"The watch was me," Graham answers. "It's dead now, empty," He throws it towards Yaz who catches it with ease. "Open it and see."

"Doctor?" Yaz questions with unease.

"Graham tells the truth, Yaz," The Doctor speaks. "It was him."

"No," Ryan's hand cuts through the air like a knife through butter. "He's right there, how the hell can a watch be him?"

Graham stares at Ryan and Yaz. "I'm not human, never was," He begins to explain. "The watch hid who I really was, even from myself, it was several factors that made Graham want to empty the boxes, how we wanted, even if we didn't know at the time, to find the watch once again."

"But you're-"

"I made myself human, Ryan," Graham reveals. "But I'm still me."

Ryan's face turns into a scowl. "That's ridiculous, if you can't tell me the truth then-"

"I can show you," Graham interjects.

"Go on, then," Ryan snaps at Graham. "Show me you're not human."

Graham looks back towards the Doctor before turning and stepping forward. His eyes close while a noise, a high whine, sounds.

"What is happening?" Ryan looks between the Doctor and Graham.

Graham's eyes open, his pupils golden along with his hands that are held out to him. "Not human, son."

Ryan steps back in surprise. "That's the stuff that me and my nan saw come out of the Doctor," He looks back at Yaz. "That means-"

"Graham is a Time Lord," Yaz connects the dots. "But how-"

The golden glow ceases, and Graham looks at the younger human. "The watch, there's a thing we Time Lords can do, it changes us, keeps us safe when we need to hide."

"Ruth used it," The Doctor reveals. "And I have used it as well."

"The chameleon arch," Graham adds on. "I used it to hide as a human-"

"But you had cancer," Ryan points out. "My nan treated you; they would've-"

"No, they wouldn't have, Ryan," The Doctor interrupts. "Graham, to them was one-hundred per cent human."

"And you're not human now."

"No, I'm not," Graham confirms. "But I'm still me, Ryan, Yaz, that hasn't changed."

"What's your name?" Yaz asks a direct question.

"What?"

"Your name," Yaz says again. "If the Doctor is called the Doctor, then you can't be called Graham unless that's a popular name on Gallifrey."

Graham chuckles at that. "Would be funny if it was, but no, those on Gallifrey prefer names that are far too long for any one person to remember."

"Then what is yours?"

"The Host," Graham says. "But you can still call me Graham, in fact, I'd prefer it if you did."

Ryan stands dumbstruck, heart hammering in his chest. He steps towards Graham and stares him in the eye. "Are you still you?" He asks, hoping the answer is yes.

"I already told the Doc that I hid in a way that kept me the same as much as it could," Graham explains. "And I promise you that I'm still the man you knew, two hearts and all."

Ryan nods before pulling Graham into a hug. It's brief, and he steps away again. "At least I know what my next vlog will be about now."

"What's that?"

"My grandad was an alien all along," Ryan smirks. "And he never told me."

"No," Graham shakes his head. "You're not doing a vlog about me."

"Why not?" Ryan asks. He looks over to the Doctor. "I made one on the Doctor, it got a lot of views," He shrugs. "No one believes it; they just think I'm weird."

"How many views?" The Doctor's brows furrow.

Ryan mumbles something unintelligible.

"I have better hearing now, and I still didn't hear that," Graham snarks.

Ryan huffs and rolls his eyes. "I dunno, last time I check it had a few million or so-"

"Million?" The Doctor splutters, eyes wide. "Ryan!"

"What?" Ryan says. "No one believes it, Doctor, it's just a weird guy making videos with a surprising amount of special effects-"

"Have you been vlogging all of our trips, Ryan?" Yaz questions. "You never said."

"They started out pretty normal, but then I made the one about Yoss and the Pting, and it kinda hit off from there if I'm honest."

"And you want to make one about me being an alien?" Graham's eyebrow raises. "All right."

"Graham," Yaz frowns at him.

"What?" Graham looks back at her. "I can make my hand glow, and Ryan said no one would believe it, it'll be funny."

"See," Ryan says. "And it'll get him back for not telling me."

"I didn't even know."

"That's no excuse," Ryan says. "Although-"

"What?"

"Pretty sure you said having aliens in Sheffield was daft and look-" Ryan gestures at Graham. "-you are the alien in Sheffield."

"Along with the Doctor."

"And the Dalek," The Doctor adds on.

"All right, fair point," Graham smiles. "I am the alien in Sheffield."

Ryan nods before frowning. "That means you can do what the Doctor does, right?"

"Regenerate?" Ryan nods at Graham. "Yeah."

"That means you will change."

"Only if I get hurt, Ryan," Graham states. "And I don't plan on getting hurt; I promise you that."

"Will you still be you if you do, though?"

"I will," Graham nods. "Different, but I will still be me."

"Okay," Ryan says. "As long as you are still you, then that's okay with me," He smiles at Graham. "Gramps."

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the Host's first face was Alexander Armstrong, his second face was Sandi Toksvig, his third was Sue Perkins (Did she have a thing with the Corsair, who knows because I don't), and his fourth is Bradley Walsh, and the fifth he hinted at was Holly Willoughby, but you never know, he could just do a Ten and cheat to keep his face.
> 
> Will I ever carry this on? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
